一段文字

吕下阿蒙 · 发表于 2018-2-8 23:23:05

As the night drew near, the city, after an exhausting day of noise and toil, was starting to put on her dark pajamas. Wrapped in it were common commuters rushing home, by public transpotation or in their own cars. Their rush-hour gathering rendered the roads jammed with bulks of metal, an image resembling fat-clogged vessels of heart. From an overlooking building, the main road was a magnificent view in the night - a ponderous chain lumbering peacefully onward with crimson specks of tail-lights, which clustered hither and thither like a solid phalanx of pomegranate seeds.

吴二 · 发表于 2018-2-9 07:31:01

本帖最后由吴二于 2018-2-9 11:43 编辑

感觉好像菲兹杰拉德的风格。

好吧，科普一下：

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (September 24, 1896 – December 21, 1940) was an American writer, whose works illustrate the Jazz Age. While he achieved limited success in his lifetime, he is now widely regarded as one of the greatest American writers of the 20th century. Fitzgerald is considered a member of the "Lost Generation" of the 1920s. He finished four novels: This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night.

顺便来段The Great Gatsby感受下风格:

There was music from my neighbor's house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars. At high tide in the afternoon I watched his guests diving from the tower of his raft, or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motor-boats slit the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam. On week-ends his Rolls-Royce became an omnibus, bearing parties to and from the city between nine in the morning and long past midnight, while his station wagon scampered like a brisk yellow bug to meet all trains.

yhemusa · 发表于 2018-2-9 02:50:12

As the night drew near, the city, after an exhausting day of noise and toil, was starting to put on her dark pajamas. Wrapped in it were common commuters rushing home, by public transpotation or in their own cars. Their rush-hour gathering rendered the roads jammed with bulks of metal, an image resembling fat-clogged vessels of heart. From an overlooking building, the main road was a magnificent view in the night - a ponderous chain lumbering peacefully onward with crimson specks of tail-lights, which clustered hither and thither like a solid phalanx of pomegranate seeds.

当夜晚来临的时候，经过一天喧嚣和劳累的城市披上了他深色的睡袍。里面包裹着急急忙忙往家赶的上班族，他们或乘坐公交，或开着私家车。这种下班高峰时的聚集使道路挤满了金属（指车辆），这图景就像心血管被脂肪壅塞的样子。从高楼上俯视，夜晚的主干道是一道壮丽的景观：一条汽车组成的笨重的链子缓慢吃力而又安静地向前移动，汽车暗红色的尾灯这里一堆那里一堆地聚集在一起，看起来就像是密集的石榴籽构成的方阵。

---- 不是抬杠，我个人的感觉，这段话写得还是挺好的。我猜测，作者设置的这个背景中的主人翁一定不是欢天喜地的那种，很可能是郁闷、烦躁、不耐烦或怒气冲冲的哪一种。

---- 实际上，这种街景，从高楼上和电视画面上确实能够看到。人都会处境生情，同样的景观，不同心境下的感受可能完全不同。即使是同一个人，不同时间、不同际遇下看到这种街景，也可能会产生完全不同的感受。一般情况下，你可能很喜欢这种景观，说实在的，它本身是美的。

但是如果你刚失业，心情郁闷、前景悲观，观感可能就不一样了：城市是很繁华，可是这来来往往的车流里面就没有我的那一辆，这熙熙攘攘的人群中，就没有我的容身之地。怎么我想在这个城市呆下去就他马的这么难？

elusty · 发表于 2018-2-9 01:23:17

语法上没有毛病，但是，这种同位表达方式，至少在中国人来说，感觉古怪，尤其从逻辑上，有点儿讲不通。
但是，西方“新语言”这种用法好像很多，符合了语法，但是逻辑和语义上别扭。

elusty · 发表于 2018-2-9 12:02:36

本帖最后由 elusty 于 2018-2-9 17:02 编辑

@本帖楼主，叫什么记不住，反正是爱提问题，懒得回复的，以前本坛也有过一个，混了几千分，现在不见了。

网上有个东西叫搜索引擎，可以自己找找。
中文叫什么不重要。
你这段话的最大特征就是利用了同位语的多次表述。

http://edbookslearning.com/wp-co ... s-for-Beginners.pdf

http://rdhyw.rdsz.net/archives/2011/2011121102710.html

[语言求助] 一段文字

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