[语言求助] 这篇文章翻译的水平怎么样，有什么错误么？

远看山有色，
From distance, mountain is richly colorful.

近听水无声。
At close-up, flowing water does not make a sound.

春去花还在，
Spring is gone, but flowers are still around.

人来鸟不惊。
People come near but birds do not seem frightened.

怀特森先生是我六年级时的科学课老师。他是一个很有个性的人，

Mr. Whitson was our Grade 6 Science teacher, and he was a person with amazing personality.

教学方法独特，常常有出人意料的举动。

He had a unique approach in teaching, and he often did things that took people by surprise.

记得第一天上课，他给我们讲授的是一种名叫“猫猬兽”的动物。

I still remember in the first class he gave us a lecture on a type of animals called “hedgehog-cat”.

他说这种动物一般在夜间活动，

He said in the main this type of animals was active at night.

因为不能适应自然条件的变化而绝种了。

They became extinct because they could not cope with changes in natural conditions.

他一面侃侃而谈，一面让我们传看一个颅骨。

While he was talking away, he let us pass (2) around a skull to look at.

我们全都认真做了笔记，然后是随堂测验。

We conscientiously jotted down notes and then we took a quiz in class.

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当他把卷子发下来的时候，我惊得目瞪口呆，

When Mr. Whitson gave me back the test paper I was stunned with eyes wide and mouth agape (3).

因为在我写下的每一个答案后面，竟然都被画上了一个刺眼的红叉叉。

It was because a glaring red “X” was marked at the end of every answer.

我得的是零分！

My score was “zero”.

可这不公平，因为每一道题都是根据我的课堂笔记回答的。

That was not fair because every question was answered following the notes taken in class.

而且，吃惊的并不是我一个人，

Besides, I was not alone in getting a shock.

我们班上的所有同学都得了零分。

All the other students in class also scored zero in that test.

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“很简单，”怀特森先生说，“关于猫猬兽的一切，都是我故意编造出来的。

“It is very simple.” Mr. Whitson said, “I fabricated everything about hedgehog-cat.

这种动物从来就没有存在过。

This type of animals never existed.

因此，你们记在笔记本上的，全部是错误的信息。

Therefore what you wrote in your notebooks is all misleading information.

难道你们根据错误的信息得出的错误答案，还应该得分不成？”

Surely you can’t possibly expect to get marks from wrong answers based on erroneous information, do you?”

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不用说，我们全都气炸了。

Needless to say we all blew our tops (4).

这算什么测验？

How could anyone call this a test?

怀特森算哪门子老师？

What kind of teacher would Mr. Whitson be?

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怀特森先生似乎根本不理会我们的心情。

Mr. Whitson did not seem to care how we felt.

他说，每一个人都应该具有独立思考和独立判断事物真伪的能力，

He said everyone should have an independent mind to deliberate and judge right from wrong.

同时也应该具有怀疑的能力。

At the same time, people should be able to look at things with skepticism.

他告诉我们，当时他让我们传看的只是一个普普通通的猫的头骨盖，

He told us what we saw was an ordinary cat’s skull.

并且，就在那堂课上他还提醒过我们：到目前为止，世界上从来没有发现过这种动物的痕迹——

Besides, during class he reminded us that up the present time there was no trace of this type of animals.

那么这个头骨盖是从哪儿来的呢？

If such was the case, then where did the skull come from?

当时我们中间居然没有一个人提出疑问。

At that time, not one person among us actually raised a question.

“其实我的破绽还有很多。其中包括猫猬兽这个古怪的名字，

“In fact there were many flaws on what I said, including the peculiar name of ‘hedgehog-cat’.

你们却都深信不疑。”

But all of you fell for it as if they were Gospel.”

为此他特别强调，本次测验的零分纪录都将写进每个人的成绩报告单。

In that regard, he particularly emphasized the zero score of this test would be entered into everyone’s report card.

同时，他希望我们从这个零分中吸取教训，不要让自己的脑子睡大觉，

At the same time, he hoped we all learned a lesson in this zero-score test result and should never allow our brains to go into a trance.

一旦发现问题，就应该立刻指出来。

Whenever we notice a problem, we should point that out right away.

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从此，科学课对于我们来说就成了一种“冒险”。

From that moment onwards, the science subject became an “adventure” from our perspective.

怀特森先生总是想方设法让我们来接受他的挑战。

Mr. Whitson always found ways in allowing us to take on his challenges.

有时，为了驳倒他的一个貌似正确的“论点”，我们常常会在课后花好几个小时甚至几天的时间去思考和论证。

Sometimes in order to disprove a seemingly correct argument from him, we often would spend hours, or even days, after school to ponder and expound on the issue.

然而，正是在一个个饶有趣味又充满刺激的过程中，我们逐渐增长了见识，也逐渐懂得了如何去接近真理。

However, it was those fun-filled and stimulating processes that we were able to enrich our experience and get close to the truth over time.

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这是一种终身受益的教训。

It was a lesson that benefited us for life.

怀特森先生让我还有我的同学明白了一个重要的道理：不要迷信书本，也不要迷信权威。

Mr. Whitson also made all his students understand an important truth: we should not follow books and pundits blindly.

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当然，并不是所有的人都能够理解怀特森先生的做法。

Of course not every person could appreciate Mr. Whitson’s approach.

有一次，我把怀特森先生的方法介绍给一位朋友。

Once I introduced Mr. Whitson’s method to a friend.

他听后吓坏了，说：“他怎么能够这样来糊弄你们呢？”

He was astounded and said: “How could he confuse you like that?”

我立刻看着那位朋友的眼睛，并告诉他：“不，你的看法错了。”

I looked my friend in the eyes and said to him: “No, the way you look at it is incorrect. (4)”

怀特森先生总是想方设法让我们来接受他的挑战。

Mr. Whitson always found ways in allowing us to take on his challenges.

从此，科学课对于我们来说就成了一种“冒险”。
From that moment onwards, the science subject became an “adventure” from our perspective.
怀特森先生总是想方设法让我们来接受他的挑战。
Mr. Whitson always found ways in allowing us to take on his challenges.
有时，为了驳倒他的一个貌似正确的“论点”，我们常常会在课后花好几个小时甚至几天的时间去思考和论证。
Sometimes in order to disprove a seemingly correct argument from him, we often would spend hours, or even days, after school to ponder and expound on the issue.
然而，正是在一个个饶有趣味又充满刺激的过程中，我们逐渐增长了见识，也逐渐懂得了如何去接近真理。
However, it was those fun-filled and stimulating processes that we were able to enrich our experience and get close to the truth over time.

Every class was an adventure with Mr. Whitson. I can still remember some science periods almost from beginning to end. On day he told us that his Volkswagon was a living organism. It took us two full days to put together a refutation he would accept. He didn't let us off the hook until we had proved not only that we knew what an organism was but also that we had the fortitude to stand up for the truth.

Best Teacher I Ever Had
by David Owen
Extracted from Reader's Digest (Asian Edition), April 1991, pp. 47-48.

url: http://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~leonghw/Courses/cattywampus.html
Mr. Whitson taught sixth-grade science. On the first day of class, he gave us a lecture about a creature called the cattywampus, an ill-adapted nocturnal animal that was wiped out during the Ice Age. He passed around a skull as he talked. We all took notes and later had a quiz.

When he returned my paper, I was shocked. There was a big red X through each of my answers. I had failed. There had to be some mistake! I had written down exactly what Mr. Whitson said. Then I realized that everyone in the class had failed. What had happened?

Very simple, Mr. Whitson explained. He had made up all the stuff about the cattywampus. There had never been any such animal. The information in our notes was, therefore, incorrect. Did we expect credit for incorrect answers?

Needless to say, we were outraged. What kind of test was this? And what kind of teacher?

We should have figured it out, Mr. Whitson said. After all, at the every moment he was passing around the cattywampus skull (in truth, a cat's), hadn't he been telling us that no trace of the animal remained? He had described its amazing night vision, the color of its fur and any number of other facts he couldn't have known. He had given the animal a ridiculous name, and we still hadn't been suspicious. The zeroes on our papers would be recorded in his grade book, he said. And they were.

Mr. Whitson said he hoped we would learn something from this experience. Teachers and textbooks are not infallable. In fact, no one is. He told us not to let our minds go to sleep, and to speak up if we ever thought he or the textbook was wrong.

Every class was an adventure with Mr. Whitson. I can still remember some science periods almost from beginning to end. On day he told us that his Volkswagon was a living organism. It took us two full days to put together a refutation he would accept. He didn't let us off the hook until we had proved not only that we knew what an organism was but also that we had the fortitude to stand up for the truth.

We carried our brand-new skepticism into all our classes. This caused problems for the other teachers, who weren't used to being challenged. Our history teacher would be lecturing about something, and then there would be clearings of the throat and someone would say ``cattywampus.''

If I'm ever asked to propose a solution to the problems in our schools, it will be Mr. Whitson. I haven't made any great scientific discoveries, but Mr. Whitson's class gave me and my classmates something just as important: the courage to look people in the eye and tell them they are wrong. He also showed us that you can have fun doing it.

Not everyone sees the value in this. I once told an elementary school teacher about Mr. Whitson. The teacher was appalled. ``He shouldn't have tricked you like that,'' he said. I looked that teacher right in the eye and told him that he was wrong.

klwo2 发表于 2019-5-7 09:34
我觉得吧，这里有两个问题：1）要不要从汉英材料里面学英语；2）这篇汉英材料怎么样

第一个问题 ...

klwo2 发表于 2019-5-7 09:34
我觉得吧，这里有两个问题：1）要不要从汉英材料里面学英语；2）这篇汉英材料怎么样

第一个问题 ...

你去哪里 发表于 2019-5-7 10:44
我记得这个翻译者和他儿子当中至少有一个人母语应该是英语，这个翻译明显是不错的。不是母语人士，汉英翻译 ...

jonah_w 发表于 2019-5-7 10:45
单论翻译本身，我也觉得挺好，个别语法错误。

加缪在《鼠疫》里写过一个哮喘病人，五十岁起便不再工作，靠一小笔年金过日子，平日里最讨厌钟表，就用两锅鹰嘴豆来估摸时间：每天醒来，把满满一口锅里的豆子一粒一粒地放进另一口锅里，每装十五锅，就该吃饭了。他妻子说，因为他从未对任何事情产生过兴趣。

逆风的香 发表于 2019-5-8 01:16
先不说作者从英译汉的文章再译回英语的做法对不对，但这篇译文的质量确实不错呀，比如一些用得很好的词汇和 ...

因为在我写下的每一个答案后面，竟然都被画上了一个刺眼的红叉叉。
It was because a glaring red “X” was marked at the end of every answer.

There was a big red X through each of my answers.

有时，为了驳倒他的一个貌似正确的“论点”，我们常常会在课后花好几个小时甚至几天的时间去思考和论证。
Sometimes in order to disprove a seemingly correct argument from him, we often would spend hours, or even days, after school to ponder and expound on the issue.

It took us two full days to put together a refutation he would accept.